Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm sobbing to NWA
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
