THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize