ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm too high and old for this...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
