So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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