Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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