this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize