someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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