in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
