sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Even my vagina gasped.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
