i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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