Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
