About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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