Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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