I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
