Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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