he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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