Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
