I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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