My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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