There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
