I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
