I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
