it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
