Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
