I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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