It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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