Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
