Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
