either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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