He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
