i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he told me I talked like a deaf person
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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