We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Ladies don't puke and tell
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
