In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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