yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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