I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I think I just sharted jello shots
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
