is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
