there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
