I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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