Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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