he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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