i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
