I think my vagina is haunted
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
