Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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