I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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