im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
