Cold hands, warm shart.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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