I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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