I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
These tits shall not be calmed
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize