Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
