I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
vagina is talking i cant
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
