Its about making memories worth repressing
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
