I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
