Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
