is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
