Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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